peonyproject: Teddy Roosevelt’s diary entry from the day his wife, Alice, died.

peonyproject:

Teddy Roosevelt’s diary entry from the day his wife, Alice, died.

(this post was reblogged from peonyproject)

Men: Buy Clothes that Complement Your Body

(The link from Clad Men disappeared from the site, but was still in my google reader feed, so I just copy-pasted here)

Style advice, like any advice, varies depending on the individual. Here’s a breakdown of items to seek out (and avoid) depending on the shape and build of your frame. And no, it isn’t debatable.

Big & Tall

 

You Want: Pants with cuffs to break up your seemingly endless inseam; pants with slimming, shallow pleats; a dark navy suit.

Avoid: Anything with horizontal lines, which accentuate your girth; anything with vertical lines, which make you look taller.

Long & Lean

 

You Want: Anything with horizontal lines to help you look broader; three-button jackets that match the scale of your torso.

Avoid: Anything with vertical lines, which only make you look taller; tight suits and jackets that advertise your thin limbs.

Short & Stocky

 

You Want: Single-button suits that have a deep V at the chest to make the torso look longer; V-neck sweaters that do the same.


Avoid: Anything with Horizontal stripes or busy plaids, which break up the body’s vertical lines; wide pants and cuffs.

Short & Lean

 

You Want: Two-button suit jackets that work in proportion to your torso; thicker fabrics (like corduroy), which offer the illusion of heft.

Avoid: Anything baggy or loose, which draws attention to your size; anything that’s all black.

(Illustrations by Michael Hoeweler)

Men: Re-Invent Your Wardrobe with 25 Essential Items

This man knows what he’s talking about, guys. READ.

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

“
If you think something you say will ruin the relationship, then screw it up right away — you want to know if you two can work through difficulties.

Avoiding Dating Pitfalls

On the topic of trying too hard not to screw up a new relationship.

Click for high-res photo

(Source: forwardfitting)

(this post was reblogged from beatboxgoesthump)

Overcome Commitment Phobia

Link to original article.

Commitment phobia is a specific condition which may include some or all of the following behaviours:

  • Wanting an intimate relationship while running from it
  • Becoming distant when the other person tries to get close
  • Turning on the charm when the other person pulls away
  • Sabotaging a relationship by deliberately hurting the other person

As with other phobias, commitment phobia is an irrational fear that may be unconscious. It took me years to notice a pattern in my relationships where I would get more scared the closer I got to someone. I’d start finding all sorts of reasons why the relationship wouldn’t work. When the relationship finally ended because of my unreasonable behaviour, I felt relieved and almost happy.

When I started to understand why I was so afraid of commitment, I identified several separate yet related fears at play.

Fear of being trapped
This stems from thinking that decisions are permanent, and that there was no way out if things didn’t work out.

  • Overcome it: When you start to feel trapped, mentally construct a back door that will be your escape route if necessary. Give yourself permission to divorce, or move back in with your parents. Just knowing that there is a way out helps.

Fear of making a wrong choice
Being with the ‘right’ person is fine and dandy. The fear is of being trapped with the ‘wrong’ person.

  • Overcome it: Accept that there will be friction even with the best of partners, and decide to work through problems when they arise instead of jumping to the false conclusion that you must have chosen the wrong person.  

Fear of unmet needs
The problem with a ‘wrong’ choice is that our own needs end up not being met, and this results in an unfulfilled life.

  • Overcome it: When you feel unhappy, ask yourself what need is not being met, then find a way to meet that need on your own. If you miss companionship, ask a friend out to lunch. If you need physical touch, sign up for a massage.  

Fear of loss
Commitment entails forgoing alternative partners even if a more attractive option comes along later. The idea of loss is usually painful.

  • Overcome it: Understand that there is a loss either way. If you commit to a partner, you lose the chance to meet other people. If you don’t commit, you lose the chance to experience a loving relationship.  

Fear of an imagined scenario
We might fear being abused or neglected. This usually arise from having witnessed abuse or neglect in our parents’ marriages.

  • Overcome it: Decide what action you will take should the feared scenario actually happen. Then file this away for possible future use, and spend your energy now imagining the best.  

Are You Commitment-Phobic?

“If you hold firm to some wish list that has too many limitations or too many qualifiers, soon you’ll have missed your window of opportunity [for finding love].”

“Unresolved issues are like baggage. If you don’t take the time to empty those bags, they get heavier with each trip. Pretty soon you’re dragging a steamer trunk of bruised emotions with you into subsequent relationships.”

This whole article really struck a cord with me…however they don’t describe HOW to address the baggage and let it go.

“[Some clients] come in with a laundry list of 20 traits that describe some sort of ideal person, and then are inflexible when it comes to reassessing those traits that really don’t matter. And if and when they do go out on a date, they are nitpicky, and don’t give their dates a chance. These are all signs that they are still processing the divorce, that they feel things are moving to quick, and they just aren’t yet ready to start dating again. They may be sitting across from the most wonderful person in the world, but it’s also true that timing is everything.”

How in the hell did THAT get past Match.com’s filters?? Classy.

How in the hell did THAT get past Match.com’s filters??

Classy.

Could neckties be cool again?

“I can’t stand people looking dishevelled — especially after age 35!” - Karl Lagerfeld

“For a few years now older men, businessmen have started going without a tie to look younger,” says Jean-Jacques Picart. “So it’s only normal for young people to reclaim them”

Exhibit A:


Would it be too much to ask…

for a man who looks like Jake Gyllenhaal, dresses like Joseph Gordon-Levitt, makes me laugh and behaves like a gentleman (who also doesn’t know he’s attractive)?

Probably.